


I'm ... Dating Myself?

by Chrystie, kate882



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: M/M, secret identity shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-13 22:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14122356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrystie/pseuds/Chrystie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: “Of course it involves Nightwing, there aren't any other vigilantes here. He thinks I'm dating myself.”And Roy burst out laughing. Like an asshole. “Like,” he kept laughing, “like Red Hood being into some narcissistic selfcest or he thinks Red is fucking Jason?”“The second one, you dick,” Jason grumbled.





	I'm ... Dating Myself?

Nightwing only knew about this safehouse from dragging Red Hood there a few days ago when he'd been drugged by the badguy of the week and couldn't do it himself. Jason hadn't actually expected him to come around again; he was still planning to ditch the place, but he'd been exhausted and it was the closest place he had. 

But because he was planning to retire this safe house, he didn't really have much in it anymore. Which is why he was leaving it in mostly civvies, except for his Red Hood jacket, but that could pass for just a normal leather jacket, hair still a little messed up from sleep, in search of somewhere to buy food.

And almost walked right into Nightwing, who he couldn't do much more than stare at with wide eyes, because fuck, what else was he supposed to do? He'd just blown his secret ID because of a late night and an empty fridge.

“Hey careful there, buddy.” Nightwing reached out to steady him, which Jason took a step back from. Nightwing accepted it easily, holding his hands up and smiling even while he seemed to narrow his eyes at him, looking him over and then looking to the safe house. And then the lenses of his mask went wide and his lips parted for form an o shape. “Are you ...Are you dating the Red Hood?”

“Um,” Jason said eloquently. “Yes?” Because he was being given an out, and he'd take it. In hindsight, it certainly looked like that. He was leaving Red Hood’s safe house, in Red Hood’s jacket, late at night with bedhead. Well, it more looked like he was fucking the Red Hood and doing a walk of shame, but leave it to Nightwing to say dating instead.

“Don't sound so unsure of yourself,” Nightwing said earnestly, and Jason restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “A guy as emotionally distant as Red letting you walk around in his jacket? He probably really cares about you!” Jason decided to only be mildly insulted by that.

“I just wasn't sure if you were supposed to know or not,” Jason lied. “But you'd already guessed. You just missed him by the way, if you were looking to talk to him.”

“Damn, I was hoping to surprise him before he decided this place is too dangerous to keep now that I know where it is.”

Jason grimaced. “He's not exactly a fan of surprises.” Like this exchange, for example. “And I think you'd just be proving him right about not keeping the place.”

“He'd blow it up regardless. Besides, I have a reason to stop by other than just paying him a visit.” Nightwing pulled out a small folded up piece of paper from his belt. “I thought he liked it when I gave him info he needs.”

Jason eyed the paper and weighed his options. “I can get it to him. I know where the other safe houses are.” It was information that would put a target on his back as a civilian in the wrong hands, but he didn't figure Nightwing would go blabbing that Red Hood had a boyfriend with sensitive information.

“You sure? I could just hunt him down later tonight or tomorrow.”

“It'd be less work for you if I just texted him that I was stopping by and brought him the info,” Jason shrugged.

“Well if you're absolutely sure you're okay with it.” Nightwing reluctantly handed him the note.

Jason shoved it in his pocket to go over later and offered Nightwing a half smile. “No problem, man. Say hey for me if you see him before I do. And good luck with the rest of your night.”

“Will do.” With a two fingered salute, Nightwing grappled himself away.

“I deserve junk food after that,” Jason muttered to himself, looking for the nearest twenty four hour fast food place.

* * *

The next time Jason saw Nightwing he was in his Red Hood persona, and he was sitting on a roof staking out a potential lead, as he’d been doing for the past five hours. “Kinda busy, bird boy.”

Nightwing seemed to take that as an invitation to crouch down next to him instead of leaving though, because of course he did. “I met your boyfriend the other day.”

“Yeah, he told me,” Jason answered, much more ready for this now that he wasn’t being put on the spot. “Mentioned that you came by my safe house unannounced as well,” he turned so that he could give Nightwing a pointed look from behind his helmet.

“It's nice not being able to see the look you're giving me,” Nightwing said, amused. “I had a thing to give you.”

“Yeah, got that too, still doesn’t make you invited to my safe house. I don’t walk around in this helmet all the time, you know?”

“I would've knocked. Your boyfriend seemed nice. He's pretty hot too. How'd you manage that?”

Jason was glad he was sitting on the roof, because he was pretty sure he might have fallen off if he was standing upright. Nightwing was calling him hot. Nightwing who was famous both for his heroism and his looks. He was really glad for the helmet. “Excuse you, I’ll have you know I’m not terrible looking under this thing,” he tapped the helmet, “it’s here for secret identity and protection purposes.”

“The real question is, did you meet him helmet off or did you manage to charm him with your sparkling personality first?”

Jason had this answer ready. In the sense that the Red Hood was never very open about his personal life.  “Not your business.”

Nightwing snorted, “Yeah, I figured you’d say that.”

“So, did you just come here to gossip about old news or did you want something?”

“It might be a foreign concept to you, but sometimes I consider you a friend. It’s this type of relationship between people where it’s normal to see each other.”

“Most friends know each other’s names, if I’m not mistaken,” Jason pointed out offhandedly. “So you did come here to gossip then.”

“What can I say? Your love life is more interesting than mine.”

“Oh? The pretty boy can’t find someone?” Jason asked, not having to fake his surprise.

“There’s plenty who want to have sex, but everyone eventually decides I’m too busy for anything long term.” Jason could have been imagining it, but Nightwing might have actually sounded a little disappointed about that, despite trying to play it off as no big deal.

“Sounds like you need to find someone who knows about your after dark activities. Then they’d at least get why you’re gone all the time.” Not that Jason had any room to talk. The only people who knew about his secret ID were Roy and Kori, and neither of them were exactly close by. And himself apparently, since his ‘boyfriend’ knew who Red Hood was.

“You make it sound easier than it is. Not all of us can luck out like you did.”

“Date another vigilante then,” Jason shrugged.

“The new Flash is pretty cute,” Nightwing chuckled.

“That new Lantern, the one with the white outfit, he’s kinda dreamy too. See, you’ve got options.”

“I’ll consider them when they’re closer and not potentially in space.”

“Well now you’re just being too picky, I can’t help you with that.” Jason spotted movement across the street and sat up straighter. “Gotta go, catch you around!” He said before pulling out a grappling hook and swinging off the roof.

* * *

Dick never thought an alleyway was a good idea for a short cut. Bad things happened in alleyways and they were just gross in general, but here was Red Hood’s boyfriend just leisurely strolling through one with a cigarette in his mouth. He grappled down to land just a bit ahead of him, and the guy barely blinked at his sudden appearance. “You know smoking will kill you.”

“I’ve heard as much,” he shrugged, taking another drag anyway. “Do you stop everyone you catch smoking on patrol to tell them that?”

“Only familiar faces. You sound like Red with the sass. Maybe that’s why you guys were attracted to each other.”

“Great minds think alike.” Red’s boyfriend held out his hand to Dick. “Jason,” he introduced.

“Nightwing,” Dick shook his hand, “But I’m guessing you already knew that.”

“I think most people in the area do,” Jason confirmed. “If you wanted to give me a name people don’t know though, I hear I’m trustworthy,” he added, giving Dick a smirk that absolutely did not read as trustworthy before laughing.

“I don’t think we’re close enough for that,” Dick laughed with him, “Red’s identity though, that’s a real mystery, not that he’ll ever even reveal it with how careful he is.”

“Probably not. He wears a mask under the helmet,” Jason agreed.

“Yeah, he’s too careful. I guess I have to respect a man who holds his identity to such importance. Also respect the man who he’s considered trustworthy enough to tell it to.”

Jason shrugged like it was no big deal. “No such thing as too careful.”

“I guess that’s true.” It was probably better than Dick’s occasional recklessness. It was probably why they worked so well together when they did. A balance of too careful and too willing to take risks. “I’m glad it’s him watching the city with me instead of someone just as careless as I can be.”

Jason seemed to consider this, choosing his words carefully. “He does think you can be careless sometimes, but he also respects you and thinks you're good at what you do. When you're not being a self sacrificing idiot.”

“Aw, I knew he liked me.”

“You guys are friends after all,” Jason said as he put out his cigarette.

“Now if only I could get him to admit it,” Dick chuckled.

“I wouldn't press your luck. Me admitting it is probably more than you should expect.” Jason started walking again. “You're free to join me, but I was on my way to the grocery store, and don't quite want to hang around in a dirty alleyway.”  

“I would, but I was in the middle of something. Don’t be too healthy with your food, that’s boring.”

Jason shot him a look that carried a lot of judgement. “That is terrible advice. Aren't you supposed to be the good influence hero?”

“What are you talking about, that’s great advice.” Dick shot a grapple with a small laugh, “I’ll probably see you around.” And with that he was gone.

* * *

“Roy, you're not going to believe the shit I've gotten myself into,” Jason said into his phone later that night, flopping down on his bed.

“Does it involve Nightwing?” Was the first thing Roy said.

“Of course it involves Nightwing, there aren't any other vigilantes here. He thinks I'm dating myself.”

And Roy burst out laughing. Like an asshole. “Like,” he kept laughing, “like Red Hood being into some narcissistic selfcest or he thinks Red is fucking Jason?”

“The second one, you dick,” Jason grumbled. “He saw me leaving a safehouse he knew was Hood’s, and I was wearing the jacket, and he came to the conclusion that I must be Red Hood’s boyfriend.”

“Oh my God,” Roy only laughed harder, “Stop, you’re killing me with this.”

“You're absolutely the worst. You're not supposed to be laughing at me. I've got to figure something out, because now he's trying to be friendly with Jason Todd, and that seems like an identity reveal waiting to happen.”

“You sure? If you’re dating yourself then you can’t be you, if you know what I mean.”

“Except he already told me tonight that I talk like Red Hood.”

“Ah yeah that’s tough. Probably even tougher with that raging crush you’ve got on him.”

Jason groaned and considered hanging up. “I've told you before, there's no crush. And I'm currently unavailable now anyway as far as he's concerned.”

“You can fool yourself but you can't fool me. For your situation though, have you considered maybe breaking up with yourself?”

“He'd want to know about a break up with someone I'm close enough with to share my secret identity,” Jason said flatly. “And it'd be a little weird to do  _ right after _ he met Jason.”

“Okay fine, no break up. Maybe you should stop going out helmetless when he's likely to be out. Dude can't be Nightwing all the time.”

“I can try, but sometimes it's kind of unavoidable.” He'd have to get used to more daytime activities if he didn't want to run into the other vigilante of the city.

“That's the only plan I got for you, so if you can think of something better then go for it.”

“... he did say he thought Jason was hot though,” Jason grudgingly admitted. 

“Oho, sounds like someone would have a chance if they weren't dating themself.” He could hear Roy snickering again.

“I don't know why I tell you anything actually. You're the worst.”

“I'm your best friend.”

Jason nodded in agreement. “You're right, this is my fault for picking terrible friends. You still planning to visit next weekend?”

“Of course, you know I miss you buddy.”

“It’s not terrible having you around I guess,” Jason joked, smiling even though Roy couldn’t see it.

“Love you too, bro. Good luck with your self-relationship.”

“Yeah, apparently I’m going to need it if I keep running into Nightwing.”

* * *

Typically, Dick wouldn’t jump in immediately into one of Red Hood’s fights. Red didn’t like it when he did. Tonight though, Red had more guys fighting against him than he typically did, and while he didn’t look like he was completely in trouble, he did look like he was struggling. Dick swung down and landed on top of a guy who was about to shoot Red in the back. “Nice evening, isn’t it?” He said as he punched another.

“I'm sure that we've talked about this before,” Red commented absently as he took down another one. “You jumping in on my fights.” Another down. “And how I don't like or need it.”

Yeah, that was exactly what Dick had expected from him.“A guy was about to shoot you. Besides you look like you have a handful this time around.”

“I’m fine.” They took the last few guys down together, and Red Hood leaned against the alley wall to catch his breath. “Don’t you have better things to do? Your own fights to take care of?”

“Well I’ve gotten three quarters of the city done. Care to join me for the last quarter?”

Red shrugged. “Sure, why not. I finished what I was doing,” he said, pushing himself off of the wall.

Dick grappled off, fully knowing Red was able to follow and keep up. “Y’know you’ve been more agreeable since I met your boyfriend. I like it.”

“It’s not agreeableness. I’m planning to steal your fights since you just stole mine.”

“I didn’t steal it, I lent a hand. Actually I lent a fist, but same thing.”

“Then consider this a return,” he could almost hear the smirk in Red’s voice.

“I guess I shouldn’t expect anything but pettiness from you,” Dick sighed, “And here I thought we were friends.”

“So you keep saying,” Red answered.

“Not just me, I got some confirmation from Jason too. I always knew you cared.” Dick grinned brightly at him.

“I'm petty with my friends too. You can just ask Arsenal.”

“Then it’s agreed, we’re friends.”

“Will it get you to shut up about it if I say yes?”

“Yes,” Dick said cheerily.

“Yes,” Red answered back stiffly. “We’re friends. And now you have to drop that. Immediately.”

“Whatever you say, buddy.” Dick couldn’t help but feel like he’d won something, which needed to be punctuated by a completely unnecessary flip across the edge of two buildings. He could hear Red Hood’s muttered “idiot” following him as he did so.

* * *

“You know what,” Jason said to Roy as they sat out of costume in a coffee shop. “Fuck it. I don't need Nightwing,” he held out a hand when Roy opened his mouth, “not a word about crushes, Harper. I can find a different hot guy. One that doesn't think I'm dating myself.”

“There are a lot of those out there. I’m pretty sure there’s more than ones that do think you’re dating yourself,” Roy snorted.

“Nightwing is doing flips over us being friends and thinks I'm taken. It's kind of a mess. I'm thinking casual dating as Jason Todd. Red Hood stuff doesn't need to get involved.”

“Probably the best thing to do if you plan to date a non-vigilante. That kinda shit can get messy.”

Jason snorted. “You know many vigilantes that are fans of the Red Hood? Because I can count them on one hand.”

“Yeah, not many of them like the gun wielding. But on a more important note, are you going to find a guy just as hot as Nightwing? ‘Cause gotta tell ya, that’ll be difficult considering I’m taken.”

“Yeah yeah, I-” he cut himself off as he spotted a hot cop walking in. “Maybe not so difficult after all.”

“You so have a type,” Roy told him, leaning forward to check the guy out.

“Shut up.”

* * *

“That'll be 4.86,” the barista told Dick with a friendly smile.

“I've got it,” another voice cut in, holding out a five before Dick could reach for his wallet.

“Thanks but-” Dick started and then noticed who it was hovering beside him and in his moment of hesitation, his drink was paid for. “You didn’t have to do that.” Dick forced himself back to his usual demeanor despite the wave of sudden fear that Jason might’ve recognized him.

Jason grinned at him, but didn't look like he recognized him. “I know. But there aren't many better ways to try and get someone's phone number in a coffee shop than buying them coffee.”

And that lit up so many alarm bells in Dick’s head. Red Hood’s boyfriend was trying to flirt with him. Red Hood, who had finally admitted he didn’t hate Dick a few nights ago. Dick laughed a little awkwardly, “Are you saying a handsome guy like you isn’t already taken? That can’t be possible.”

“No one in the picture at the moment. What about you? Free some time this week for drinks? Or whatever you want to do for our first date, really.”

He needed to tell Red Hood about this. As soon as possible. “How about you give me your number and I get back to you on that.” He could at least use the number as proof to show Red that he wasn’t making it up if Red decided to not believe him.

Jason gave him an easy smile and nodded. “Works for me.” He grabbed a napkin off of the counter and fished a pen out of his pocket, jotting down a phone number and writing Jason under it before passing it to Dick. “Can I get the name of the person calling me later?”

“It’s Dick, and yes, that is actually my name, and yes I do like it.”

“And yes you're very defensive about it,” Jason added, chuckling. “But noted, no jokes about your name.”

“Not until we get to know each other at least. I do have to pay you back for coffee.” Which wasn’t going to happen, because if Jason had the nerve to cheat on someone like Red Hood who was genuinely a good guy and had so many trust issues then he deserved to get stood up and to lose the money.

“I asked you out though, I should be the one paying for the first date. Don't even worry about the coffee, five bucks isn't too much.”

“Fair is fair, you don’t have to be so much of a gentleman.” The saddest part was that if Dick didn’t know any better, he probably would’ve gone for it. Jason was a really good flirt and he was still hot even if he was now being categorized as cheating dirtbag.

“It's seems like the best way to land a guy as pretty as you,” Jason answered, leaning against the counter just before the barista called that Dick’s drink was ready.

From the new angle Dick could see how pretty the specific blue-green of Jason’s eyes were and yeah, he could see how Red had fallen for him, which made everything about this situation so much worse. “As much as I’d like to stay,” Dick said taking a step away from Jason and towards the side where his drink was, “I gotta get to work. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Looking forward to it,” Jason called after him with a wave.

* * *

“Well you look miserable,” Jason commented as he dropped down next to Nightwing after he finished stopping a mugging.

Nightwing seemed to only manage to look even more upset with his arrival. “Hey,” he said in a very lackluster tone considering how he normally acted.

“Seriously, who kicked your puppy?” Jason asked, eyebrows raised behind the helmet.

Nightwing pouted at him and looked like he was struggling to get something out. “You… Jason’s cheating on you,” he continued to frown, “I’m sorry.”

“I- wait what?” He hadn't even run into Nightwing without his helmet recently. His mind helpfully supplied him with his decision to try flirting with a hot police officer, one who Roy had pointed out did look like Nightwing and who hadn't actually called him, and this was spiraling out of control. He needed to just wait to hear what Nightwing said and go from there.

“He was flirting with a cop so shamelessly, like he doesn't already have a great guy.” Nightwing went from a mix of guilty and sad to angry very fast.

“And you were there for that?” Jason asked.

“I know the cop, met him a few times before, and yeah I saw it happen.”

Jason quickly thought over everyone who had been in the coffee shop while he'd flirted with Dick. No one else had looked like Nightwing except officer Dick Grayson. “It doesn't matter anyway. We broke up,” Jason said because he really needed  _ something  _ to say.

“Wait what? Why? When?” Nightwing’s anger seemed to fizzle out and was slowly turning into guilt again.

“That is… fuck that's a good question.” And exactly why he'd told Roy a breakup was a bad plan. “Um, about a week ago.”

“You mean you don't know? Oh Red I'm sorry. Did you want to skip a bit of patrol tonight to get a few drinks in? My treat, you don't deserve that type of break up.”

For a moment Jason just stared at him, weighing his options. “This is getting too out of hand,” he decided out loud. “C’mon, I need to talk to you, but not out here.”

“What is?” But Nightwing still followed after him.

“What part of not out here was unclear?” Jason asked, leading them to his nearest safehouse.

“You're… showing me where one of your safehouses is?” Nightwing asked once it came into view, sounding completely confused.

“No. I mean yes, but that's not really the point so much as a means,” he answered as they went in through the window. “I want you to know this is your fault by the way,” he added as he disarmed his helmet and slid it off and then peeled off the mask under it. “It's only fair since I figured out your secret ID, and I think this makes my life less complicated.”

Nightwing gaped, his jaw dropping open. “I-you…. oh my god.” And then he burst out laughing.

“If you hadn't come by unannounced and uninvited, this would never have been a problem,” Jason accused. “And then you just handed me an out before I could even come up with something.”

“God, I can't say I don't get it though, I’d date you too. Oh wait that reminds me, I gotta do something.” Nightwing pulled out a phone from his belt along with something Jason couldn't really see and then a second later Jason's phone started ringing.

“I'm not answering that,” Jason informed him. “I'm not playing into your joke.”

“Aw c’mon you looked like you were really anticipating my call when you gave me your number. I would've called sooner if hadn't thought you were a cheating shitbag.”

“Just my fucking luck. I can't believe your a fucking  _ cop _ . Vigilantism is illegal, officer.”

“I was a vigilante before I became a cop.” Dick put his phone away and stepped closer to Jason until he was invading Jason's personal bubble but wasn't actually touching him. “I can't believe you're actually really hot under that helmet.”

“Some trust you have. I told you I was hot under that thing,” Jason scoffed. “Even if the helmet hair is horrendous.”

“I think the helmet hair is kind of cute. So, you still interested in that date? Because that move you did in the cafe would've worked if you hadn't been dating yourself.”

“Yeah, that was weird all around, and I'm still blaming you for it. But sure. After we finish patrol though. This was a detour, I'm not skipping.”

“Fine,” Dick sighed, “I'm still paying for that date.”

“You know what, after all you put me through with this dating myself crap, I'm okay with that,” Jason decided.

“So, do I get a last name since we've done the whole identity reveal thing?” Dick asked.

“Absolutely not. You haven't earned that yet.”

“And at what point in our relationship will I have?”

“Marriage. When we hyphenate. That’s when you find out,” Jason said firmly.

Dick burst out laughing. “You didn't strike me as the marriage kind of guy.”

Jason shrugged. “Tax benefits to being married. The point is you're waiting a while on that name.”

“ _ You _ pay your taxes?” Dick asked suspiciously.

“I know my history, Dickie. Tax evasion is what they get you on when they can't get anything else. Besides, I use some of the things taxes pay for. But mostly the first one.”

Dick was still wearing his mask, so Jason couldn't see it, but he was sure he was rolling his eyes. “Alright, alright, I'll wait on the full name. Even if I eventually have to marry you for it. Let's start with a first date though.”


End file.
